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emcee one

 

Scrolling social media, I seem to run across this question a lot these days.  Usually, a young person trying to discern if the action shown by their partner prove feelings hoped for.

I am sure jealousy is a human reaction and natural to some degree, but usually it's linked to possessions / ownership. Not in all cases, but as a general rule, We are jealous when we fear the loss of a thing. (Title, status, object) To often this manifests into control, where the jealous party tries to control the other.  Anyone involved in this knows from there it tends to lead directly to bullying.  The bully tries to control the other mentally, emotionally, and sometimes dangerously physically.  

Example:

Mentally

They make you think your not smart enough to know what's best and create doubt of self.

Emotionally

They play the heart strings, and try to control with emotions. "If you loved me".. Or threaten to hurt themselves and try to make that your fault. 

Physically

You should already know, & this is dangerous! Aggressive behavior includes yelling, intimidating, throwing things, hitting, slapping, pushing down, etc... 
(Too many people some I've known personally, have waited too long to pay attention to the mental and emotional warnings until it's was too late.) :( 

In contrast, a healthy relationship isn't based on control or ownership, but two people sharing life, not based on "needing" each other but "choosing" each other. 

Problem

Relationships today seem set up to fail, with a culture that "Falls" into love.

We have a youth culture today that seems to jump in to intimacy and then tries to force commitment.  Anytime someone tries to force commitment, it's at best manipulation, and at worst bullying.  (Maybe not limited to just youth culture either.)  It is from my perspective one of the biggest contributors to the creation and spread of un-healthy relationships.  

Relationships based on need, control, or jealousy, isn't actually relationship but ownership. If you can fall into love, they can fall out. That un-predictability creates insecurity!

True "Love", is a choice, and is secure enough for it! Maybe we shouldn't "fall" into love but instead "step up!" ;) 

 

M.A.G.

"Why Do We Fall?"

http://soundcloud.com/emceeone/why-do-we-fall/s-7CweB

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